wtf, creepy postman?

the most ridiculous adventure i have to report back to you all lately is an update on my creepy postman. i've complained about how he asks me oddly irrelevant and maybe slightly too personal questions for months to my coworkers, but friday he finally crossed the line of creepy.  maybe it's my fault for ordering way too much good stuff online lately (i've been on an etsy spree, and also treated myself to the six feet under box set, because it's the best show. ever. yay.) but friday i noticed the wedding present i ordered for my friends from the lovely tasha mckelvey hadn't arrived yet.  creepy postman handed me a final notice delivery slip, which made me really angry (because of the stupidity of the two different post office set up in my neighborhood, which i've explained here before). 

me: why didn't i get the first two notices for this package, or better yet, why didn't you just knock on my door to deliver this package? i've been home all week.

creepy postman: oh, i have two other packages for you in the truck. [see, i told you've i've been quite the online shopper as of late...] do you want me to bring them around in a bit? will you be home?

me: yes. i work here. i'm pretty much always home.

cp: okay,  i'll be back in a bit.  heh, it must have been the mailman standing in for me all week.

me: oh, really? because this is the kind of thing that happened around christmas, and i was pretty unhappy about having to go to 25th and snyder to pick up all the packages you guys didn't deliver then, as well.

so, an hour or so later, he comes back, two packages, but no wedding present, in hand.

me: you don't have the one that i just got this slip for? how does that even work?

cp: oh, yeah, i don't have it with me. i could bring it tomorrow. hey, do you ever go to the tap room down the block?

me: i go there sometimes. it's nice.

cp: oh, uh, yeah, if you want to meet me there for a beer tonight i can bring the other package then.

me:  [complete silence and creeped outedness] um. i don't think so.

cp: or i could just bring it tomorrow like i said.

me: uh, yeah.  that would really be better, i think.

um, hello? isn't that totally illegal?  wtf?  nevermind the total absurd notion of meeting up at the tap room with my creepy, old, creepy, not attractive, awkward, creepy, possibly married postman (my mom suggested i go meet him there, but bring cute erik with me), but isn't the very act of him giving me my mail in a bar (aka, holding it hostage in exchange for a date) totally unethical and illegal?

this is the first thing that's made me having a center city office - an address to get all my internet shopping shipped to.  on the bright side, the earrings above are one of the two packages he did hand over that day - i got two gorgeous pairs from tinarice. so pretty! 

Comments

[Lola]

Ahhhh the mailman asked you on a date?!

[Jen]

That's hilarious...and creepy...at the same time...

[Sharyn]

Ack! Totally creepy. And totally the kind of thing that would happen to me too. Lately there's been this total weirdo working the counter at my local post office. So far he's been harmless, but I could see it veering into creepy territory.

And these dudes know where we live. Sigh.

[Tasha]

Wow, I'm so sorry that the creepy postman was trying to get you to go out with him by holding my package hostage :( so creepy.